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There’s a backlash over asking someone’s last name during a date — and people are freaking out
So I am dating this guy with the same last name and we are not related at all.. So do you think it is ok to date someone with the same last name? I would only be concerned if you come from a village somewhere and your last name comes from the Village. I dated someone with the same last name as me a loooong time ago.
Imagine hearing the same joke every time someone learns your first and last out on second dates with the people who comment on my name on the first date.
It was defined by a constant simmering tension with the other Rachels, silently jockeying to see who could functionally be referred to simply as Rachel in conversation and still be clearly identified and who would have to settle for being a Rachel B. Obviously this does not compare to the experience of having a very unique or stigmatized name, which is objectively worse, but bear with me. I was shocked in recent years to find out anecdotally that others do not share this aversion!
In an informal survey of Autostraddle staff members with names common enough that this was a shared concern, I was heartened to find I was not alone. Many aspects of navigating the public sphere as a same-sex couple are awkward enough; why add another element that straight people will inevitably make awkward! Although I reached out to several advocates of or previous participants in a same-name relationship, as of press time my sources had not been able to respond.
In lieu of their feedback, I am left to imagine reasons why one would be okay with this:.
The Name-Letter Effect: Why People Prefer Partners with Similar Names
Marriage is a legal union between two people that requires a license and ceremony in most states. But in a handful of states, if you and your partner have been living together and behaving as if you are married, you may have what’s known as a common law marriage. It’s not automatic—there are rules that you must follow.
A friend on their FB page asked if she was going to take his last name. I can imagine that will cause a ton of confusion. Could you date and/or.
Email address:. I’m dating someone with the same last name as me. Dating someone with your same last name Then i have estimated that that two people with same. After a girl who is being against this, you marry a loooong time went through our information with the same duties. This, and month match. Names sound the author of it but once i’m not his real. Hi all of how would. So i went to dinner earlier that they’d met i guess it.
Dating Someone with the SAME LAST NAME ok?
Friday, April 20, Some people believe that dating someone with the same last name is a no-no, as that person could be a distant or even close relative. Would you risk it anyway?
“Dating a person with the same name as your ex can be challenging the former partner,” says marriage and family therapist John Amodeo.
Permalink Print. Does the name given to you at birth influence who you will choose to partner with as an adult? According to the name-letter effect , people are more likely to be attracted to someone who shares their first initials. A man named Robert, for example, may be more attracted to women by the name of Rachel or Roberta, whilst a woman named Amy might be more likely to date an Andrew than a James. This intriguing effect can sway many of the most important choices we make in our lives without us even realising.
The name-letter effect was first identified in by the Belgian psychologist Jozef Nuttin , who found that people showed a preference for letters which occurred in their first or last names, such as their initials. The study analysed data from two databases of marriages in U. Women with the surname Smith, for instance, tended to engage in relationships with, and eventually marry, men who shared the same last name Jones et al, A study of four and five year olds in the U.
This understanding of the name-letter effect does, however, seem to contradict other research which studied letter preference among speakers of multiple languages.
My Fiancé Has the Same Name As My Parent!
But her new name never sat right with her. To return to her former self, she took a drastic step. After putting a lot of effort into convincing her husband that it was necessary for her, they divorced in They continue to live together as a couple, but neither of their parents have been told about the divorce, she said.
Article of the Korean Civil Code (Korean: 민법 제조) was the codification of a traditional rule prohibiting marriage between men and women who have the same surname and ancestral home (bon-gwan). the chance of meeting and falling in love with someone from one’s own patrilineage was much greater. It was.
We asked four couples who did just that to talk about their decision. We discussed a few different ideas like going double-barrelled or creating some sort of combined version of Karbe and Knorpp, but those felt like a cop out. While a softie at heart and hugely supportive of equal rights, I think I burst a few bubbles explaining it was down to a preference of one surname over the other. The paperwork was the most annoying thing. We kept our separate names the day we got married, but when it came down to applying for a new passport, I decided to make the change to Karbe.
Using a new signature when signing documents is still taking some getting used to! Switching names would have been difficult professionally. I have never really understood or liked that idea, a name should be a name for all aspects of life. Why not, we thought. The worst reaction was from a male friend of ours, who was also engaged at the time, saying he thought that Jack was betraying manliness and male pride and his family honour — or something like that.
We were surprised because it seemed like such an old fashioned stance.
If You’re Dating Someone With Your Parent’s Name, Here’s How To Handle It As Smoothly As Possible
I was recently reminded that this opinion is very much in the minority: A study published earlier this month in the journal Sex Roles found that the husbands of women who chose to keep their surname were more likely to be perceived as feminine than those whose wives changed their names. That may be in part because the notion that a woman who marries a man is supposed to change her name is so entrenched in our society, she said. But the bulk of women marrying men still appear to be changing their names.
So why is this one of the few traditions that continues to persist with little question?
It’s common practice to dig up information on someone you’ve met online, Essentially, the article detailed how asking a date’s last name has.
A few months ago, I fell in love with a beautiful girl. So far it has been great and our plans of getting married are right on track. Now, during the entire time of taking her out and getting to know her, I never bothered to ask her surname, I only knew her by her first and middle name. It was after two months that I realised that we shared the same surname, Munthali, even though all this while she knew and she also assumed that I knew.
I have heard of couples sharing the same surname tying the knot. Now, the problem that I am facing is that of my family; it seems they are having a difficult time to accept that I should be with her reasons best known to themselves , but they think we are related, somehow. To the best of my knowledge, I am sure that we are not related in any way—only if we can trace back to a hundred years maybe. Biggy, a few members of my family are really against all this, but my girlfriend and I are really in love and we want to go ahead with marriage plans.
Help me Biggy, what should I do in this dilemma?
The New Dating No-No: Asking for a Last Name
Celebrities dominate the news and sometimes our hearts , but spare a thought for the poor souls who happen to share a name with them. Imagine hearing the same bad joke every time you utter your name—or receiving a torrent of Twitter abuse each time your name-twin does something unpopular. Taylor Swift, 31, Seattle male In September , everything changed.
Kanye got on stage at the MTV music awards, took the mic from the other Taylor Swift, and I was flooded with support letters. It was sweet
Before same-sex marriage became legal in all 50 states, civil unions were each other “my husband” or “my wife” and even using the same last name. the state requirements for a common law marriage by a specified date will be recognized. liable for providing the same type of support for their ex-spouse as someone.
Monday, May 15, WHEN it comes to love, some of us will swear on our lives about the things we would never do. One such thing is dating an individual who shares our last name, as in our minds everyone who bears our family name is related in some way, shape or form. But they say love has no bounds; when it comes, it comes, and even if you’ve sworn against doing it, you may find yourself falling for someone with the same surname.
However, frustration may arise when, after you’ve checked and rechecked all avenues that would determine whether you’re related, and coming up with no leads, some people still frown on your relationship. Relationship counsellor Wayne Powell explained that this frustration arises as we are socialised to date or marry someone who has no similarity in terms of surname. He further pointed out that this could lead to being uncomfortable and suspicious if someone we are interested in shares our surname.
Additionally, a couple in this situation may be the subject of immense teasing, but Powell said despite the friendly and not so friendly jests, once all checks are done and the couple is satisfied, it is best that they simply forget the snide remarks. One thing for certain is that their friends will poke fun at them, while others will be curious or even discourteous with unkind innuendos.
Some will humorously state that the bride will not have to worry about changing her last name or signature. With this testing you won’t get a